Take Yourself On A Date:

by Carole Fogarty

“Spending a little time alone each day simply allows me to feel connected to something greater than myself”  Carole Fogarty

Are you feeling disconnected from your true self ? Perhaps you’ve unknowingly drifted away from who you really are as you’ve been busy raising your awesome family or totally dedicated to your career.

Then here’s a fabulously simple idea.  Organise a weekly date with yourself so you can start reconnecting with who you really are –  your loves – your passions – your inspirations –  and above all else, what makes you shine brighter in this world.

You don’t need to spend money enrolling in a course or follow the rules of a “how to” book.  Simply listen to the callings of your heart (even if they are only whispers at the moment) and enjoy at least a couple of hours or longer each week doing what fuels you with the good stuff.

The important thing is your weekly date is ONLY for you.  No-one else.

It’s not about catching up with friends – it’s about you catching up with you. And re-discovering your joys, loves and passions.

What fuels your soul with the good stuff?

Book a massage, spend the afternoon in your favourite bookstore, go to the park to draw or just sit, or if you are anything  like me  nurture your inner francophile.

I’m taking myself off to a French film tomorrow and next week indulging in an exhibition - Modern Women  Daughters and Lovers, drawings from the Musee d’Orsay, Paris.  Soaking myself in all things French fuels my soul with the good stuff.  I don’t know why, it simply does.

Afterwards I always, always  feel more inspired, more creative and have a sense of tapping into something greater than myself.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Often lots of great ideas and clarity comes to me.

Start by walking out your front door:

Have no idea where to begin for your first date! No problems.

Simply walk out your front door and let your legs take you wherever you need to go. Trust.  Trust that whatever you need to experience will pop into your head once you’ve closed the door behind you.

You may keeping walking or decide to hop in the car.  The choice is yours.  There is no right nor wrong. Allow the next few hours to unfold, organically without forcing, trying or pushing.  You will end up somewhere.

Artists date – Julia Cameron:

I’ve drawn my inspiration for writing this article from the awesome Julia Cameron and her book The Artist’s Way. For over 20 years Julia has been teaching and writing about the amazing life changing benefits of writing morning pages and taking yourself on a weekly artist date.

Over the years I’ve spent months writing morning pages – 3 pages of hand written notes that aren’t filtered, corrected or thought about.  The idea is to empty your head of the inner chatter so you can begin your day fresh and clear.   Believe me morning pages work.  I personally find them fabulous for connecting to something greater than myself.

I’m sure your local library will have a copy of  The Artist’s Way if you feel drawn to reading it.

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What I’m  loving at the moment:

This workbook is the spine of the The Artists Way teachings by Julia Cameron.  It’s a 12 week course for re-connecting to your creativity.  Here’s a snippet of what you can expect.  Week 2  recovering your sense of identity.  Week 3 recovering your sense of power. I’ve found the Artists Way Workbook full of inspiration and great reminders.

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Join Carole in Tuscany, Italy, May 2013.

A restful restorative yoga, meditation and walking retreat.  All welcome.Immerse yourself in Tuscan culture staying in a fully restored 17th century country villa set amongst 28 hectares of natural woodlansds as you rest, replenish and rejuvenate your soul.    Click here for all the relaxing details.

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“Lengthening your exhale reminds you to pause.  Deepening your inhale helps you feel into your next pause.” Carole Fogarty

I’ve written this post in response to the many emails I’ve received of late.   It seems quite a few of you are feeling anxious, stressed and overwhelmed with what life has thrown your way today, this week, this month or this year. Yep, life can do that.

As many mentioned, you are having trouble meditating – know that often a more formal sitting meditation practice may not be the ideal solution – at this point in time anyway.  In fact, dealing with not being able to meditate may cause even further anxiety and frustration for you. I hear you, and have seen this many times at my rejuvenation retreats.

My starting place to all things stressful is to come back to the breath and with the gentle therapeutic practice of restful, restorative yoga. I feel at times it’s a  more accessible way to enter a meditation practice – in fact I consider it a meditation practice in itself.

Restful yoga is my great love and the very foundation of my Rest and Rejuvenation Retreats.  So you will notice in the therapeutic breathing meditations (below)  two of them are enjoyed resting in a restorative yoga posture.  The reason is simple.  Give the body permission to surrender (stress, fatigue, worry and anxiousness)  and you’ll be helping the mind and nervous system let go and relax.

It all starts with a therapeutic pause:

To take the edge of any form of stress, excess worry or anxiety it all starts with a pause. Whether its a 30 second or 5 minute pause.  Remember to pause often.

Pausing creates space inside of you.  Pausing turns your awareness away from the outside world (for a moment) and places more importance on your inside world.

Pause helps you let go, re-balance and take the edge off those stressful feelings and thoughts.  Pausing is incredibly therapeutic.

Lengthening your exhale reminds you to pause.  Inhaling deeply helps you feel into your next pause.

3 therapeutic breathing meditations:

We are all unique wonderful human beings so you may find you benefit from different breathing practices on different days. Play around with them.  Feel into them and see how your body and mind responds.

These breathing meditations are all about taking the edge off  anxiety or stress.  Spend longer in these breathing practices and support a deeper release from anxiety and stress. Practice daily over a month and you’ll be feeling significant changes.  Enjoy.

1 – Back breathing to dissolve fear:

Most of us breath into the front of our bodies.  But how often do we actually breath into our side ribs or back of the body?  Not often enough or never I’m guessing.

Trust me “side and back breathing” is incredibly therapeutic. Practice either sitting on your chair or in child’s pose pictured.

Imagine your lungs as a balloon.  As you inhale the lungs evenly open, expand and fill.  In all four directions.  Belly swells and opens, side of your ribs push out away from the spine and back ribs gently expand.  The muscles in your back start to let go and unwind, your spine has space, shoulder blades and shoulders un-clench and you may notice your posture start to improve.

Breathe into your kidneys:

A great way to encourage your breath to soak deeply into your back is to breathe into your kidneys.  You can do this sitting in a chair or to deepen the experience resting in child’s pose pictured above.

1. Gently rest the palms of your hands over your kidneys.  Left hand over left kidney, right hand over right kidney. This will make it easier to direct your awareness, energy and breath into your back.

2. Now inhale feeling your side ribs and back open up and expand. If you can, get a sense of the kidneys letting go and softening with each exhale. It’s a very subtle yet powerful sensation.

3. Continue breathing beyond your kidneys and into your whole back.  Become aware as your hands slightly rise on each inhale.

Chinese medicine believes our kidneys hold fear.  Bringing your awareness and breath into the kidneys will increase blood and energy flow and invite more spaciousness around your kidneys.   Tight feeling kidneys may suggest you are clenching onto some old fear and/or have totally depleted your energy reserves.  Yep, tight kidney’s are a sign of total exhaustion.   Use a forceful exhale to release any stagnant energy and residual fear.  Inhale deeply to invite more energy and life force back into your kidneys.

Know that whilst this may sound super easy, many of us may find breathing into our backs difficult.  If you don’t feel much movement at the moment that’s Ok, be patient, eventually the breath will soak deeper and deeper into your body.

2 – Crocodile pose for stomach stress:

“By mindfully breathing for ten minutes a day, in as little as 8 weeks you strengthen the part of the prefrontal cortex involved in generating positive feelings and diminish the part that generates negative ones” – Richard Davidson PhD.

I tend to hold stress in my stomach so I happen to find crocoidile pose (laying on your belly and breathing into your heart, lungs, tummy and pelvic area)  incredibly therapeutic.  Whilst it may look divinely simple never underestimate its deeply restorative benefits.

Crocodile pose calms the mind, soothes the nervous system and supports you in feeling safe- so you can easily release tummy anxiousness, butterfly’s and stress so you can let go and then relax the whole front part of your body.  Guaranteed you feel lighter afterwards.  Like a weight that’s been lifted from your body.

If you are unable to lay on the floor you can still benefit by folding your arms on the desk or table in front of you and resting your head on your folded arms.  An awesome therapeutic pause.

Lay down on your tummy, rest your forehead on folded arms, close your eyes and follow your breath.  As you breath think calmer, slower, deeper, calmer, slower, deeper.  The rest will happen automatically.

It’s important there is no effort or strain when resting in crocodile pose.  Your body must feel totally comfortable.

3 –  The 27 breath therapeutic pause:

When you don’t have the luxury of resting on the floor then the 27 breath meditation  is the perfect practice to give yourself a little breathing space.  It will help take the edge off and create a little space in your head, around your heart and from the world around you.

If you have 1 minute to spare (tick), can breath (tick) and can count (tick) then you are able to receive the benefits from this very simple yet relaxing breath meditation. Close your eyes if you can but if that’s not possible simply counting the breath in your minds eye is fine.

Bring your full awareness to your breath and to the counting.  The counting keeps your attention on the breath (stops your mind from wandering) effectively creating a helpful therapeutic pause.

Inhale 27, exhale 26, inhale 25 exhale 24, inhale 23, exhale 22, inhale 21, exhale 20, inhale 19, exhale 18, inhale 17, exhale 16, etc.

Breath work matters.  It matters a lot.  If you are interested there is a wonderful 2 minute talk given by the awesome Dr. Andrew Weil.  Click here to watch.

More help for anxiety and stress:

Alternate nostril breathing – your nose is directly linked to your brain and nervous system. In times of emotional distress and upset, a few rounds of mindful nostril breathing will soften the intensity of over reactive emotional states.

Therapeutic bath rituals –   A warm bath helps the body let go and relax.  Especially when you add healing ingredients to your bath water such as Epsom salts, vetiver, rose essential oil, grated ginger, baking soda,  flower essences or cinnamon sticks.  Not to mention how incredibly restful it is for a fatigued mind.   I say it’s the ultimate meditation practice.

Lighten your load - Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

A fabulous restful yoga and mindful breathing DVD

12 ways to release muscle tension on the spot: Stress simply distracts the body from healing itself.  Don’t let stress be the number one focus for your mind and body.

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What I’m loving at the moment:

This book has to have the simplest explanation on how our brain works and easily explains how stress blocks our children from learning, and adults from thinking clearly. I am so in love with this book. I had many aha! moments.

Goldie Hawn’s message and research is simple.

Teach children to relax and their learning and behavoir improves considerably.  This book is a keeper. A book you buy and keep beside your bed.

10 Mindful Minutes: by Goldie Hawn.

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You can also grab your daily rejuvenation tip by clicking here

Or zip back over to Rejuvenation Lounge’s home page by clicking here

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Rest and Rejuvenation Retreats, Ubud, Bali, July & September 2012:

It’s all about the practice of intentional rest, gentle yoga, mindful breathing, hand mudra’s, daily body treatments and meditation for a calmer, healthier and happier you.

Please click here for all the relaxing details.

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A Beautiful Prayer For Relaxing:

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“I have collected hundred of examples and concrete cases of how men and women conquered fear and worry by prayer”  Dale Carnegie 1948 Repeating a meaningful bunch of words from your heart can infuse peace into any situation.  Whether you call it prayer, affirmation, mantra or even wishful thinking.  Words silent or spoken have an energy flowing [...]

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Breathe Spaciousness Into Your Body:

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Quick Guide To Ubud, Bali

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In case you don’t know I’ve been facilitating Rest and Rejuvenation retreats in Ubud, Bali now for over 8 years.  They are my absolute passion. Without a doubt. And, as you can imagine, in that time I’ve got to know and love Ubud intimately. So, as I often get asked questions about Ubud,  I thought [...]

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