The Healthy Living Lounge

By Carole Fogarty

Inspiration: A regular feature:

Please don’t feel left out. This article is also written for any human being who is feeling lost, disconnected from who they are and allowing life to push them around.

No one prepares you for life as a single parent. Your days may be filled with enormous confusion, hurt, disbelief, upset and shock as you enter this new chapter of your life. If only there was step by step guidance giving you direction and supportive tools for your new life ahead.

 

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When I became a single mother of three boys five years ago I firstly had a vision (you must have a vision), I relied heavily on certain tools, guidance and created my own set of personal laws that I discovered along the way.

I believe I chose a path and direction that allowed me rather quickly to reclaim the missing pieces of me that I so uncaringly gave away in the past. I also focused strongly on keeping drama at a safe and healthy distance away from myself and my boys.

Without realizing it at the time many of my inspirations were drawn from the ancient wisdom of the Tao. I simply chose a path that was allowing, flowed and guided me to the place where I am today whilst keeping my sanity in place along the way.

Create your own set of personal laws or feel free to use mine.

1. Create your own healing vision:

Know where you are going. What constant healing belief is needed that would satisfy your body, mind and soul to participate fully in life again and be the person and parent that you know you can be.

My vision was simple. To reclaim the missing pieces of me (I lost many pieces) to be able to feel whole, complete and connected to the flow of life again. This felt true and right for me at the time. Anything which did not bring me closer to reclaiming my missing pieces fell away from my life.

Initially I required allot of stillness which I scheduled into my daily routine which then helped propel me to my next healing phase.

Tao: Create the space and time to start feeling whole and complete again

2. Start dialogging with your soul:

Keep reminding yourself that you are not alone in this world.

Your inner wise voice knows the easiest, simplest and quickest way through any situation. It is waiting to be heard. Listen to its gentle guiding whispers, open up a conversation. It is there to support you. Start communicating with it’s presence right now by either journaling daily, meditation or prayer so you can begin to heal the past and create a new vibrant future for yourself and your family.

Stop listening to other peoples opinion and start placing more importance on the truth of your internal world. Trust in the guidance of your soul your inner wise voice.

Take responsibility for the maintainance of your soul.

You may wish to read my article: Eight simple ways to connect to your inner wise voice

Tao: Be fearless as you enter the doorway into your soul. There is a bundle of courage within to support you through this journey.

3. Have no opinion towards your ex-partner:

Blame is a powerless act. It keeps you locked into the past and firmly joined at the hip to your ex-partner.

Make a clear choice from this moment on to shift the current group consciousness for single parents which is fueled with anger, resentments, pain and hurt. Lets all unite and raise the group consciousnesses to one that is empowering, nurturing, loving and healing towards ourselves, our children and our ex-partners.

Becoming a single parent is a magnificent opportunity. There will be hidden blessings and amazing new possibilities if you allow yourself to break free from the past, disconnect from the drama and see your future with clearer eyes.

Your highest potential and ticket to freedom is not found in poisonous conversations, hurtful thoughts and remaining trapped in victim mode.

When you are asked to comment on your ex-partner simply say I have no opinion. I choose not to waste my energy talking about it. This was the single most powerful personal law that shifted me very quickly away from the pain of the past. If you only take one piece of advise from this article and add to your own set of personal laws then this is the one which will change your life.

Tao: Surround and fill yourself with only the highest vibrations. You have no opinion on your ex-partner it just is.

4. Live more simply:

Make you and your children your priority and not your stuff.

Your possessions and stuff do not make you happier, fuel your soul nor help you heal from the past. Every object you own demands your attention, needs to be cleaned, maintained, moved, stored, looked after and insured.

Time is your precious friend in reclaiming your life back so please don’t waste it fighting over, buying or looking after more stuff.

In fact we live in bigger homes have more stuff and able to do more things than ever before in the history of time yet we are certainly not happier. Depression is at an all time high with stress closely following.

Lighten your load in life and start living well with less. You can do no greater service to your life than to eliminate as many possessions and stuff from your personal living environment and only keep things that you truly value. Mentally you feel clearer, your home feels lighter and your life simply flows with greater ease.

An enormous amount of pressure and stress is released when you live a simpler life.

Start asking yourself how else can you make your life simpler today.

Tao: Great satisfaction comes when you live life simply.

5. Distance yourself from drama:

Do not teach your children that marriage is war. Drama is not useful, it is hurtful and fills your life with more pain.

A personal law that I created for myself to prevent my mind getting addicted to drama which it loves:

“My life is peaceful, my home is peaceful, my children are peaceful and my mind is peaceful”.

The more you say this the more peaceful your life will become. Things will shift, situations will change and perceived problems will resolve themselves.

Tao Send love and blessings to thy enemy

Summary of my own personal laws:

1. I create the time and space to feel whole and complete again
2. I listen and trust in the guidance of my inner wise voice and connect with it daily
3. I surround myself with the highest vibrations possible. I see my future with clearer eyes. I have no opinion on my ex-partner
4. How can I simplify my life even more today
5. I attract peace wherever I go

 

Thanks for reading my article, Carole. Feel free to share, digg or stumble my article.

Please visit my Wellbeing Toolbox which has been created just for you
or join me in Bali for my annual Womens Rejuvenation Retreat.

 

Resources to support you on this journey:

Debbie Ford: A spiritual Divorce:
Debbie has written a book called Spiritual Divorce to transform your divorce from a crisis to an opportunity. Is heart ache stopping you being present and participating fully in life? She also has created the lotus lounge which has numerous free resources, prayers, meditations that you can load.

Hay house radio:
Listen for free to some of the greatest spiritual teaches in the world today

Cheryl Richardson:
I have been receiving Cheryl’s weekly newsletters now for over 4 years. They are insightful thought provoking and bring you closer to understanding your life. Cheryl also offers on-line forums and regular free conference calls.

Shakti Gawain:
Each day on her web site there are passages with an accompanying affirmation from her book Awakening - A guide to conscious living. They are simple and will definitely support you on this journey.

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